This one is almost unavoidable … at least I know it is for me! Sometimes you’re going to put your foot in your mouth, no matter who you’re with. Saying something stupid in front of their friends.Frankly, I think it’s something they’re just going to have to learn to live with, although there might be ways of doing it that are, say, more sympathetic than other ways. I don’t want to tell you not to do this, but it can really embarrass your teenager. When your teenager has a date, it’s good for you to know who they are dating. Grilling their girlfriend or boyfriend-This one is totally understandable.Resist the urge to treat them like they are a kid in front of their friends. If they can’t take care of themselves now, then how will they ever do it when they are truly out on their own? So control yourself. And as I’ve been saying, this is the time in your child’s life when they need to practice leaving the nest and flying solo. But when you do that and other babying-type things now, you make them feel like they aren’t big enough to care for themselves. When your child was a baby, you would wipe their face because they couldn’t do it themselves. Treating them like a little kid in front of their friends.So save the affection for the privacy of your home, and help them make the giant step into adulthood by giving them their space in public. For teens who are learning to grow up and fend for themselves, this is a huge embarrassment. They are learning how to function as individuals, and when you are overly affectionate, you make them feel, and look to their friends, like a little baby. Adolescence is the time when kids are exploring the world. When you draw attention to yourself by being loud, you are really saying to your child and the world, “It’s all about me! What about me? I need some attention.” This makes the child feel like they are being either upstaged or humiliated. This is often closely related to wanting to be “cool.” Loud parents are an embarrassment because they are trying to draw all of the attention to themselves. Being too loud and drawing attention to yourself and them.If you find yourself trying to entertain your kid’s friends or spending every weekend with the gang, then perhaps you’re trying too hard to be the kid and not the parent. It doesn’t mean a parent who dresses and talks like they’re still twenty-two. But that means a parent who isn’t embarrassing and who is kind, friendly, non-invasive, and loving. Now, there’s nothing wrong with having a really cool mom or dad. Trying to be “cool.” A lot of parents hate the fact that they are getting older, and in order to forget it or to hide it, they act like teenagers themselves.Whether you realize it or not, how you dress tells people how you want them to think of you. It’s true that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, and judging appearances is so superficial, but it’s how we think as human beings. I understand, but if you are still wearing clothes you bought more than ten years ago, you might just be causing your fashion-conscious teen to blush. You’re busy you don’t have time to keep up with all the fashions and shop till you drop. If you feel like you’re going to explode, you should excuse yourself, take a break, and talk to them when you are more in control. You usually yell because you feel powerless, and that shows your teenager that you are out of control. Your goal, I assume, is to raise a confident, successful person, and yelling at them and belittling them in public is a surefire way to create a weak, depressed, and dysfunctional adult. ![]() When you yell at your teenager in public, you do a great deal to damage their young hearts and minds. ![]() If I were going to suggest you change any one thing you’re doing, I’d suggest you change this one. ![]() You might want to consider some lifestyle improvements, teen style. If you fit into any of the following categories, please give these ideas some thought. Some relationships will be unaffected, as many teens just shrug off the goofy things parents do, but others will suffer because of your teen’s fear of what you’ll do next, and that’s what’s really at issue here. It’s sad but true-most of us will embarrass our kids at some point in our lives.
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